This...thing happened to me a while ago and it was god awful and I have never been less of myself after it happened. And I guess while it was happening. It's been about a year? and I'm still really struggling to get back to the way I was, or, to be Better than I was.
my relationships with people are very strange, especially when I'm attracted to someone. It's just hard for me to express myself without reverting to how I was which was just
a really hypersexualized and infantalized person because, that's what I was taught was desirable. It's surprisingly a very difficult thing to unlearn.
anyways I keep talking about it to everyone but I can't seem to get the words right and I don't want to annoy anyone about it anymore because I feel like now everyone's at the point where it's like "Ok we get it this thing happened to you just move on already" so I've stopped. But I can't stop thinking about it because this thing is still affecting me and I know myself, I know that if I start writing about it I'll start to officially Get Over It but again, the words never come out right.
anyways I just
I dunno it's been bothering me lately so I thought I should write about it here. I'm reading it over and it's kind of a mess, but whatever.
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